A little history
As a child, I was never taught to eat healthy. We had some fruit and veggies in the house and dinner always consisted of meat, starch and canned veggie. Meals were usually anything from a can or a box. Highly processed, salty, and UNHEALTHY! No wonder why i always felt so sluggish after i ate. I would come home from school and pretty much eat a whole meals worth of calories as a snack, then have dinner, then usually be snacking until bedtime. I was never truly over weight by most people's standards and definitely not obese, but i was always heavier than i ought to be for my size and age. And i was lucky i wasn't bigger with the eating habits i had come to believe were "normal".
Growing up, my siblings and I were not monitored at all when we ate, how much, or what we ate. My mother uses food as a medication for stress in life and that's what i do too. My father was just as bad, and he could eat whatever he wanted and not gain an ounce. He'd sit down to a huge plate of food every night before bed! Nighttime eating was almost a necessity in our house. That brings me to where i am today. My mother looks horrified when i take food away from my children. She gets angry if i don't let them eat ice cream for dinner. Her philosophy is...get something in there stomach. If they didn't eat dinner, just give them whatever they want to fill up their stomach. She also believes that if you are craving something, your body needs it. SO, in a nutshell, it was a long road to get to the point where i could actually understand why i wasn't losing weight when i was taught those things were normal. But of course going through health education in high school and college, and just being interested in gaining the knowledge on my own, i have no excuse to not be healthy anymore.
What it's all about
I will use this blog to log my daily food intake, but no calorie counting. I will also log my weekly weight losses (or gains, as i'm sure there will be struggles!) This blog will be my new stress relief; NOT food. I know I need to retrain my brain to find solace in something other than food. It almost hit me like a bolt of lightening, but i know really it has been a long long time coming...I finally realized I am OVER eating. And OVER eating has 2 meanings.
1) I am literally eating too much!
2) I am so OVER it and there is a freedom i feel in finally realizing that. Food isn't going to solve anything for me. It may put a band-aid on a wound for 5 minutes, but then i feel worse and so the cycle begins!
Writing is therapy for me. It's all about refocusing your mind and energy. Writing will be my new therapy when i am struggling with my kids or life stress in general. Instead of reaching for the cookie or ice cream, i'll just write about it. I'm not saying this will be easy, but it has gotten easier for me since i have had the realization that eating doesn't do it for me anymore. I don't get any satisfaction from eating when i am stressed. It used to appease me, but now it just makes me feel blah. Writing actually makes me feel good and empowered. It just makes sense!
things i know
Most important is to start by realizing things you know and to really be aware of them when you need to. For example, I know my hardest time of the day is late afternoon and evening because it is my most stressful time of the day.
I know if i start snacking, i won't stop.
I thought so many times about joining Weight Watchers because i've witnesses many people have so much success with losing weight and keeping it off but i couldn't do it in the end. I know about healthy eating, nutrition, exercise and i have a wonderful family and group of friends to support me. It just feels right to use all of my accrued knowledge and put it to some use!
There is more to this than just healthy eating. I've come to a point in my life when i realize that change is about the freedom of choice. This is a philosophy i am diligently trying to apply to ALL aspects of my life. But I want my boys to have a good example of healthful eating, and nutrition, and exercise. I want them to have all of the knowledge i did not have, so they can make better decisions!
Anyways, here are my first entries:
1/3/2011
Bfast:
1/2 BAGEL
TSP. CREAM CHEESE
COFFEE
snack:
STRING CHEESE
lunch:
2 SLICES DELI HAM
1 SLICE PROV CHEESE
1 KAISER ROLL
1 CUP 1% MILK
snack:
1 SERVING CHEERIOS
1% MILK
snack:
1 DIET PEPSI
HANDFUL OF PRETZEL COMBOS
dinner:
ICEBERG LETTUCE WRAP
W/SMALL PIECE CHICKEN
SHREDDED CARROTS
RADISH SLICES
PARM CHEESE
CAESAR DRESSING
snack:
BANANA
TSP. PEANUT BUTTER
activity:
30MIN POWER WALKING
ON TREADMILL
1/4/2011
Bfast:
EGG WHITES
SALSA
COFFEE
snack:
STRING CHEESE
lunch:
ICEBERG LETTUCE WRAP
W/CHICKEN
PARM CHEESE
RADISH
CARROT
OLIVE OIL DRESSING
snack:
YOGURT
BANANA
HANDFUL PRETZELS
DIET SODA
dinner:
SMALL PIECE CHICKEN W/PEPPER SAUCE
PEAS AND CARROTS
snack:
CHEERIOS W/MILK AND 1/2 BANANA
activity:
30 MIN FAST WALKING ON TREADMILL
So far so GREAT Tina!!! I love everything you've written about so far. I agree about writing being therapeutic! Definitely keep this up!! Don't be afraid to write about any struggles you've had during the week, and then think about what brought it on, and possible solutions. Another great outlet and you never know what you can wrestle out of your brain when you write it down. In fact, I don't like to admit it but that post I did on my blog? I had no idea where I was going with it until right near the end. I was basically doing a "new year's post" with disdain because I hadn't run and I was so over blogging about my running complaints. Then suddenly "like a bolt of lightening" ;) I knew what I wanted to do this year! Writing is such an amazing tool! Good luck on your journey Tina!!! I'll be here cheering you on!
ReplyDeletePS You have me craving lettuce wraps!!!
YES, that's exactly why i want to keep writing about this, because it just helps to get it out there. It helps me to work through why I am struggling with it. I used to write ALL the time and restarting it has really been helping me do this.
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